Valve City Era Timeline

=Introduction= The Valve City Era was the origin of the most dangerous city to live in the internet. The Valve City years on the internet calendar I just made up as I'm typing this out is defined by "BC" which means "Big Chromosome" because of how down syndrome induced this era was. But believe me, it gets far more autistic every era. The reason this era was called the "Valve City Era" was because the primordial name for Steam City was "Valve City" before it was renamed to Gnomistan at the very end of the Valve City Era. Valve City was a futuristic cyberpunk themed city, but its inhabitants suggested that the Valve City Era was set in a caveman like setting due to how savagely the citizens of Valve City lived. If you don't believe me when I say the city was futuristic, here's a photo of the Valve City Central District in 5628 BC (Big Chromosome):

10000 BC

 * The Primordial age of Valve City begins in 10000 BC.


 * The Bro Army arrives in Valve City, which they called OOGA BOOGA sometime in 10000 BC.


 * OOGA BOOGA technically becomes the first district of Valve City. (Even though it wasn't named Valve City until 9742 BC)

9999 BC

 * The Ganashiro Incident begins and concludes sometime in 9999 BC.


 * The religion of Shitism is founded sometime shortly after the Ganashiro Incident in 9999 BC.


 * The Walmart Tribe arrives on Walmart Island in 9999 BC in attempts to liberate it.

9998 BC

 * The 100 Year War for Walmart begins sometime in 9998 BC.

9898 BC

 * Pewdiepie is executed by Mohammet, the leader of the Walmart Tribe sometime in 9898 BC.


 * Mohammet becomes the mayor of OOGA BOOGA on February 18th following the execution of Pewdiepie.


 * OOGA BOOGA is renamed to New Timbuktu on January 6th, 9898 BC.

9835 BC

 * Walmart City begins construction and becomes the capital city of Walmart Island on March 19th, 9835 BC.

9742 BC

 * The Valve Corporation is founded sometime in 9742 BC.


 * The Valve liberation of New Timbuktu begins sometime in 9742 BC, and concludes on June 10th, 9742 BC..


 * New Timbuktu is renamed to Valve City after the Valve liberation of New Timbuktu concludes on June 10th, 9742 BC.


 * Gaben Newell becomes the mayor of Valve City after forcing Mohammet to overthrow his position as mayor on June 10th, 9742 BC.


 * Valve Occupied Territory and the Valve City Central District become districts of Valve City on June 10th, 9742 BC.


 * Walmart Island becomes a district of Valve City following the Walmart-Valve Agreement on June 17th, 9742 BC.


 * The Primordial Age of Valve City concludes on June 17th, 9742 BC.

9741 BC

 * The Valve City Depression begins on January 1st, 9741 BC and concludes on December 31st.

9740 BC - 9303 BC

 * Multiple Jewish psyops take place in Valve City in these years.


 * The Anti-Chungus Defence Squad is formed on March 25th, 9303 BC.

9302 BC

 * The Valve City Chungus Invasion begins on April 19th 9302 BC and concludes on December 15th, 9302 BC.


 * The Anti-Chungus Defence Squad is disbanded on December 16th, 9302 BC.

8000 BC

 * The Curryman Tribe arrives in Valve City from the pooverse on January 31st, 8000 BC.


 * Diarrhea City is founded and begins construction on February 1st, 8000 BC.


 * Diarrhea City is recognised as a district of Valve City by the Valve Corporation on February 3rd, 8000 BC.


 * The Diarrhea City Independence War begins on February 5th, 8000 BC.

7994 BC

 * The Diarrhea City Independence War concludes on October 22nd, 7994 BC.

7990 BC

 * The Valve Liberation of Garfeet begins on November 9th, 7990 BC. and concludes on December 29th.


 * Garfeet becomes a district of Valve City on December 29th, 7990 BC.

7601 BC

 * The Perth Abo Tribes arrive in Valve City on December 19th, 7601 BC.

7600 BC

 * The Abo's Vs Currymen Tribal Wars begin sometime in July, 7600 BC.

7203 BC

 * Logo Lake Town begins construction and becomes a sub-district of Walmart Island on February 4th, 7203 BC.

6689 BC

 * Mr. Singh is born on May 15th, 6689 BC in India.

6664 BC

 * Damo is born on March 9th, 6614 BC.

6661 BC

 * Richard Dengyu is born on August 1st, 6661 BC.

6651 BC

 * Al-Qaeda Headquarters is constructed in Valve Occupied Territory on June 5th, 6651 BC.

6642 BC

 * The Gerbil Felchers are formed on April 25th, 6642 BC.

6629 BC

 * The Gerbil Wars begin on August 14th, 6629 BC.

6604 BC

 * Mr. Singh is assassinated by Damo on November 10th, 6604 BC.


 * The Gerbil Wars concludes on November 10th, 6604 BC following the assassination of Mr. Singh


 * Damo is assassinated by Richard Dengyu on November 14th, 6604 BC.


 * The Gerbil Felchers are disbanded on November 17th, 6604 BC.

5601 BC

 * Confuzzy is born on July 16th, 5601 BC out of a rotting slice of lasagna.

5599 BC

 * The Garfeet Revolution begins on July 30th, 5599 BC.

4998 BC

 * The religion of Garfism is founded by Confuzzy sometime in 4998 BC.

4519 BC

 * Townsville begins construction and becomes a sub-district of Walmart Island in 4519 BC.

3008 BC

 * The religion of Warism is founded by Paul Bird sometime in 3008 BC.


 * W.A.R. City is founded and begins construction on September 11th, 3008 BC.

3004 BC

 * The Valve City Children Hospital Bombings of 3004 BC begins on August 30th, 3004 BC and conclude on September 18th, 3004 BC.

2998 BC

 * The Worship of Warism is outlawed and punishable by public execution and permanent community ban on January 2nd, 2998 BC.


 * Paul Bird is publicly executed by the Valve Corporation on January 3rd, 2998 BC.


 * The Warist Riots of Valve City begin on January 3rd, 2998 BC right after Paul Bird's public execution.

2945 BC

 * The Warist Riots of Valve City conclude on March 7th, 2945 BC.


 * W.A.R. City becomes a district of Valve City on March 10th, 2945 BC.

2029 BC

 * MC Casper is born on April 1st, 2029 BC.

2016 BC

 * Phwong Chong is born on an unknown date in 2016 BC

2006 BC

 * The Casper Live Concert Disaster begins and concludes on November 23rd, 2006 BC.

2000 BC

 * MC Casper is assassinated by the Valve Corporation on June 1st, 2000 BC.


 * The Garfeet Rainforest is cut down on October 17th, 2000 BC.


 * Garfeet Megacity begins construction and becomes the capital of Garfeet on October 20th, 2000 BC.

1995 BC

 * The Tasmaniac Genocide begins on August 3rd, 1995 BC.

1980 BC

 * The Tasmaniac Genocide concludes on December 5th, 1980 BC.

1939 BC

 * Gordon Nunaninji is assassinated by Curryman27 on June 2nd, 1939 BC.


 * The Abo's Vs Currymen Tribal Wars conclude on June 5th, 1939 BC.

1921 BC

 * Lord Ursus The Walmart Guardian is born on an unknown date in 1921 BC in Timbuktu.

1910 BC

 * North Park begins construction and becomes a sub-district of Walmart Island on October 4th, 1910 BC.

1892 BC

 * The Ganashiro Militia is founded on December 1st, 1892 BC

1889 BC

 * Mohammet is assassinated by Ganashiro The Scourge of Walmart on April 15th, 1889 BC.


 * The Walmart Island Revolution begins on April 17th, 1881 BC and concludes on July 3rd, 1881 BC.


 * Lord Ursus The Walmart Guardian becomes the new leader of the Walmart Tribe and the ruler of Walmart Island on July 3rd, 1881 BC.

1596 BC

 * The Cambodian District is founded on June 19th, 1596 BC.

1000 BC

 * North Park War I begins on January 5th, 1000 BC.

996 BC

 * The Zombie Uprising of North Park begins on August 16th, 996 BC.


 * The Zombie Occupied Territory becomes a district in Valve City on August 29th, 996 BC.

987 BC

 * North Park War I concludes on December 30th, 987 BC.


 * Curryman27 is assassinated by Ganashiro The Scourge of Walmart on December 30th, 987 BC after attempting to smuggle illegal dildo's into Discord City. This is universally agreed to be the end of the Valve City Era and for some reason not the Gnome Invasion of Valve City which happened right after this.

986 BC

 * The Gnome Invasion of Valve City begins on January 2nd, 986 BC. This is technically the end of the Valve City Era but, nah, curryman's death was.